Technique for Listening

I have conducted few seminars on communication skills. I often share my email id for after thoughts, comments etc.

I got a mail from one of the participant which went some thing like this

"Hi Nilesh,

Thanks for a wonderful course. I never knew that learning could be such fun and your enthusiasm and energy has really left an impression on the group.

I really enjoyed those active listening exercises that we completed on the course as this is an area I feel really difficult to master. I know it's only been few days since the course but I feel I am getting better at it as I am implementing the technique that you covered.

Have you got a short, sharp model that I can easily remember that I can take into EVERY situation when I need to actively listen?

Thanks again Nilesh

What you do is just great

Manjeet"

My response was something like this

"Hi Manjeet,

Thanks for kind comments!

You did a great job on the second exercise when you went into it with the mindset of "Active" listening rather then "Passive" listening.

Ok, let me give you a simple technique that you can use to become a better listener. It's called  R.A.S.E

R = Respond to the content

A = Acknowledge the feelings of what is being said

S = Show your understanding

E = Encourage further information

Let me give you an example:

RESPOND TO THE CONTENT

This is another term for reflecting back what they have said in your own terms. By doing this it demonstrates your own understanding and if you know you have to do this it really makes you listen believe me!

This is also called "paraphrasing". There is a section on there in your workbook. So, if the person says:

"You can really see the bad atmosphere within that group"

You could reply with:

"So, there are some serious going's on then with people"

This response shows the speaker that you have understood what they have said.

Then.....

ACKNOWLEDGE THE FEELINGS

So you change your focus to acknowledge what the person must be feeling:

"It sounds as though you are feeling uncomfortable about what is currently going on within your group"

Then...

SHOW THAT YOU UNDERSTAND

Make your understanding real and legitimate even if you do not agree with them yourself. Remember, you are taking the speakers point of view into account and appreciate that.

"If I was in your situation I would feel uncomfortable too. I can see that you do not like this type of atmosphere in the air at work"

Then...

ENCOURAGE FURTHER INFORMATION

The final step in RASE is to encourage further discussion by asking an open ended question.

"So, tell me - what exactly is going on there?"

In Summary:

I hope that you find that model useful.

That does not mean that you use it every time as people will tend to see straight through it if you do.

Add it to your toolbox of skills and use it whenever you need it.

Thanks again and please do take advantage of our post-course email support system, it is there to help you.

- Nilesh"

Hope you find this useful. If you have any useful techniques please share.

Skills That You Need to Succeed

Recently I participated in a discussion about what are the key skills employers look for in entry-level workers. Here is a summary of points that came out. 

Entry level workers in a variety of professions were lacking in several areas, including problem solving, conflict resolution, and critical observation.

Every field would of-course requires technical skills. But apart from that you will also notice "soft skills" in job descriptions, next to demands for technical qualifications. Employment experts agree that tech skills may get you an interview, but these soft skills will get you the job--and help you keep it:

1. Communication skills

Good communication skills means your ability to express yourself well both verbally and in written communication. You need to do well in this area, whether it's writing a coherent memo, persuading others with a presentation, or just being able to calmly explain to a team member what you need.

2. Teamwork and collaboration

Most of the time working in team is a necessity. Employees are expected to work with others to ensure work is done effectively. This means one has to learn about team dynamics and how teams functions. It means able to monitor progress, meeting deadlines and working with others across teams to achieve a common set of objectives.

3. Adaptability

Changes take place all the time. One has to learn to deal with change. This involves learning new things, trying different approaches, and one has to first understand how change happens and how to cope with it.

On your resume, on your cover letter, and in your interview, explain the ways you've continued to learn and grow throughout your career.

4. Problem solving

Problem solving is very important skill. First you must be able to identify what the exact problem is. There is a very good book available on this. You will be asked 

 "How did you solve a problem?" interview question with several examples. Think of specific examples where you solved a tough business problem or participated in the solution. Be able to explain what you did, how you approached the problem, how you involved others, and what the outcome was--in real, measurable results.

5. Critical observation

It's not enough to be able to collect data and manipulate it. You must also be able to analyze and interpret it. What story does the data tell? What questions are raised? Are there different ways to interpret the data? Always provide a business summary and highlight the key areas for attention, and suggest possible next steps.

6. Conflict resolution

The ability to persuade, negotiate, and resolve conflicts is crucial if you plan to move up. You need to have the skill to develop mutually beneficial relationships in the organization so you can influence and persuade people. You need to be able to negotiate win-win solutions to serve the best interests of the company and the individuals involved.

To demonstrate communication skills, for example, start with the obvious. Make sure there are no typos in your resume or cover letter. Beyond that, enhance your communication credibility by writing an accomplishment statement on your resume or cover letter. Instead of stating, 'great oral and written communication skills,' say, 'conducted presentation for C-level executives that persuaded them to open a new line of business that became profitable within eight months.'"

The good news is that, like any skill, soft skills can be learned. 

The better news? Boosting your soft skills can not only give you a edge on a new job or a promotion--these skills have obvious applications in all areas of a person's life, both professional and personal. So make sure that you work on these skills and succeed.

Types of Bosses and How to Handle Them

Along with paychecks, deadlines, and overtime, bosses are one of the things you just can’t avoid in the workplace. But how to identify these strange characters and deal with them?

In my career of 22 years I have come across many different types of bosses. I would like to share some insight on this topic. I will cover six types here and in the next blog entry the remaining. So here it goes.

The Robot

Distinguishing characteristics: An empty desk, no family pictures.

What they do: All business, all the time: That’s The Robot. We’re not saying he/she’s not human, but we’ve definitely got our doubts on the matter sometimes. The sworn enemy of fun, levity, and emotion, The Robot would rather you just get to work. At all times. While it can be nice to have someone driving you to do your best, it would be nice to feel a little bit of emotional connection from time to time, right?

How to Handle: It may not sound like a lot of fun, but you’ll probably have to conceal your own feelings and buckle down to The Robot’s schedule. On the up side, she can teach you discipline and efficiency. Try making allies of your coworkers. They’re probably as frustrated as you are! Inside jokes and friendly chitchat can make the day seem brighter.

The Softy

Distinguishing characteristics: Second chances.

They think they’re making things easier on their employees, but in the long run The Softy’s kid-glove approach to management just makes it harder for great workers to succeed and easier for slackers to stick around. Being a boss involves making difficult decisions sometimes, especially when it comes to employees, but The Softy doesn’t seem to realize this.

What they do: They think they’re making things easier on their employees, but in the long run The Softy’s kid-glove approach to management just makes it harder for great workers to succeed and easier for slackers to stick around. Being a boss involves making difficult decisions sometimes, especially when it comes to employees, but The Softy doesn’t seem to realize this.

How to Handle: The worst thing to do is hurt The Softy’s feelings, so try changing things up by commending them on his toughest calls, however rare. A little positive reinforcement can go a long way when The Softy learns that being the bad cop doesn’t have to be the worst job in the world. 

The Weasel

Distinguishing characteristics: Empty promises

What they do: Promising one thing but delivering another, The Weasel will say anything — and we do mean anything — to get what she wants out of you. A raise? A promotion? Some time off? Sure, you’ll get what you’ve been dreaming about eventually if you take on extra work or a hellish new project. Or so she says, but we wouldn’t recommend holding your breath for The Weasel to actually deliver. Why should she? You’re already doing the extra work for free.

How to Handle: Completing all the grunt work will get you great distances with The Weasel, but just remember to trust nothing The Weasel says, ever. Or, at very least, get it in writing and double-check with whomever The Weasel answers to in upper management. 

A paper trail will be your best defense against lies and false promises. Maybe you’ll actually get that promotion!

The Mystery

Distinguishing characteristics: Closed doors, Out Of Office messages.

What they do: Who knows? The Mystery is an expert at the arts of subterfuge, denial, and … whatever it is he does. Either he’s on a business trip or in a locked-door meeting or plotting world domination all day or … something. 

Whatever it is, you’re left to your own devices to figure things out, minus any guidance at all. Too bad you’ll still be on the hook if things go wrong. The Mystery will be gone when it comes down to it.          

How to Handle: Wait it out and give him space. If you stay patient (and we mean really patient) you may be able, like a persevering biologist in the jungle observing shy animals, to learn a little bit more about The Mystery’s habits

The Viper

Distinguishing characteristics: Backhanded compliments, fake smiles.

What they do: Does The Viper wake up on the wrong side of the bed every single morning? It sure seems like it. From snippy comments about personal matters (“Are you awake? Oh, it just seemed like you were gaining weight.”) to undermining your efforts at work (“So you’re just learning Excel, right?”), The Viper has a real talent for making you feel bad about yourself. No matter how thick your skin is, it’s hard not to let her get to you.

How to Handle: We’re not actually certain that the Viper is capable of loving an employee, so it’s probably best to just stay a good distance away from her. Keep feelings to yourself, and share as little information 

In the next blog entry I will be covering more types. So stay tuned and keep visiting this blog. Until then enjoy.

Effective Listening

Since most of what you are required to learn in school is going to be communicated to by a teacher or professor it is imperative that you learn to list. And don’t make the mistake of thinking that hearing and listening are the same thing – they are very different. When you listen to what someone saying you are not only hearing what they are saying you are also processing what they are saying. Here are few things you can do to be active listener.

Give Attention to Meaning

Pay attention not only to the words being spoken by your teacher but to the thoughts and messages they convey. Identify the main idea, concept or subject being addressed and the relating issues. Listen for explanations, descriptions and clarifications. Again, don't just hear the words. Listen to the meanings being communicated.

Use effective note taking style

Poor listeners try writedown everything, believing a detailed outline and effective notes are the same thing. They get frustrated when they cannot see the meaning behind what they are writing down or they go to review their notes and don't understand the concepts that were taught in class. Effective listeners adjust their note-taking to the lecture style. They listen to whats important, they try to understand concepts and they take notes that clarify, organize and reiterated important details of the lecture.

Make sure you are concentrating 

Poor listeners frequently are poor concentrators. Effective listening requires that you concentrate and pay attention. Remove all thoughts of home, friends, fun and ancillary activities from you head while the teacher is speaking. Learning to focus and concentrate will help you become an effective listeners and much more effective student.

Be Ready for the class

It is difficult to listen and mentally process what you're hearing when you come to your class unprepared. If your teacher gives you a reading assignment or homework designed to prepare you to understand a topic its important that you are familiar with the topic before it is discussed in class. Being ready to listen means being prepared for each class ahead of time.

Focus on whats important

Poor listerners focus on fact. They may retain a few of those facts, but the information is usually garbled. Effective listerners focus on main ideas, fundamental concepts and vital issues.

Choose to be interested

One of the most tell tale signs of a poor listeners is that they just can't find what the teacher is talking about to be interesting. As a consquence they don't listen with real intent and often miss important topics and details being addressed. Good listeners are able to decide to be interested in the subject matter being addressed by the teacher. As a result they listen more intently and effectively.

Feedback

Giving feedback is one of the key activity that manager has to carry out.
It is not easy to give feedback specifically we Indians need to learn about giving feedback. Culturally we tend to avoid giving feedback.

Next time when you have to give feedback I suggest that you use the incident, impact and expected behavior method.

I would illustrate with some examples

Example 1

Incident 
When you don't turn up for the meeting on time then...

Impact
It really upsets my entire schedule...

Expected behavior
Going forward can we agree that we start the meeting on time?

Example 2

Incident 
When you don't look at me while I am discussing something then...

Impact
It makes me think that you are not present in the conversation and you are not listening...

Expected behavior
Can we agree that you will look at me and pay attention when I am talking to you...

Example 3

Incident
When you interrupt someone during the meeting when he has not finished...

Impact
Often people feel that you are not valuing his contribution...

Expected behavior
Going forward could you please let anyone finish without interrupting any one ?
 

These are just some of the situations to illustrate the idea. 

Can you see how you can use this in your situations?

Setting Objectives

At the time of setting objectives, we are always told that the objectives must be set. They must be what we call  SMART.

SMART means

• Specific
• Measurable
• Achievable
• Realistic
• Timebound

For quite some time now I have set objectives and SMART objectives. But recently realized that each SMART objective must also specify 

1. What the person must do, 
2. The place where the action is carried out and all the logistics required 
3. The deadlines, the speed, the accuracy, the 'correctness' of the action

Unless these three things are mentioned, the objective remains difficult to rate against. Also with these things outlined the ambiguity reduces considerably. This also helps a objective evaluation against the objective. If we start following this it would reduce the pain points of measuring performance against each objective.

Moaning.....

We all like to do what I call moan and bitch about many things like organization we are working in, about the boss, about team members. It has become a common past time.

Whether is a good old moan about your boss, your pay,why "he" gets paid more than you or the hours you are

working sometimes we can just get caught up in it  whether we usually do it or not.

But I firmly believe that the leadership style has a huge impact on whether you create a team of moaners or a team of proactive doers.

Think about what you can do to reduce the level of moaning in your office and demonstrate the

leadership behaviours that will help rather than hinder team and company performance.

Having worked with many people around the world I tend to find that the attitude and outlook of the leader normally rubs off on the team and if the leader tends to moan themselves then so does the team.